Why We Remember Criticism More Than Praise
After the meeting ended, five colleagues praised the presentation. Yet what remained in mind was one person's sharp criticism. At the dinner table, while everyone enjoyed the meal, one comment—"it's a bit salty"—kept echoing.
This is surprisingly common.
Why do we remember negativity more vividly than positivity? This phenomenon isn't simply a personality issue but is deeply connected to how our brain operates.
Negativity Bias: The Brain's Survival Choice
Psychology calls this "Negativity Bias." Psychologist Roy Baumeister, through his research "Bad is Stronger than Good," revealed that negative experiences have a greater psychological impact than positive ones.
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, this was a survival strategy. For prehistoric humans, the information "that animal is dangerous" was far more critical than "that fruit is delicious." Missing positive information meant losing an opportunity, but missing negative information meant losing life.
The brain's amygdala is designed to respond sensitively to threat signals. Our stronger reaction to criticism than praise is because this ancient system is still operating.
Why Is Criticism Stored More Vividly?
Many people experience another common scenario.
A supervisor's praise from ten years ago has faded, yet "you're not detail-oriented" from the same period remains crystal clear. Encouraging words from parents are barely remembered, but "why can't you even do this?" remains vivid decades later.
According to neuroscience research, negative stimuli generate more electrical activity in the brain. The amygdala, which processes emotions, activates more strongly to negative information, connecting with the hippocampus responsible for memory formation and increasing the likelihood of long-term storage.
Praise pleasantly passes by, but criticism makes us ruminate repeatedly—this is why.
Imbalance Operating Within Relationships
Psychologist John Gottman's research on marital relationships presents an interesting ratio. The ratio of positive to negative interactions must be at least 5:1 for relationships to remain stable. This doesn't mean five criticisms are needed to cancel one praise, but rather five praises are needed to neutralize one criticism's impact.
This principle operates in workplaces and homes alike. One frequently repeated scenario is parents saying "good job" to their child, then adding "but this part is disappointing." The child's brain stores the latter criticism more strongly than the former praise.
The Vicious Cycle of Self-Criticism
Another frequently repeated pattern exists.
Some people immediately deflect praise with "it's nothing" or "I was just lucky," yet readily accept criticism with "I knew I wasn't good enough." This can be interpreted as internalized negativity bias.
Cognitive psychology connects this to "confirmation bias." People who already hold negative beliefs about themselves pay more attention to information confirming those beliefs (criticism) while ignoring or devaluing contradictory information (praise).
Observable Points in Daily Life
Understanding this mechanism makes various daily scenarios look different.
It explains why one negative comment on social media bothers us more than 100 likes, why memories of mistakes last longer than achievements, and why we stay indifferent to praise while losing sleep over minor criticisms.
Negativity bias is a system that evolved to protect us, but in modern society, it sometimes leads to overreaction. The brain processes even small, non-life-threatening criticisms as danger signals.
Simply Recognizing the Bias
This article is reference content based on general psychological information, and interpretations may vary depending on individual circumstances.
We cannot completely eliminate the brain's negativity bias. However, change begins simply by recognizing this pattern.
"Is this criticism feeling larger than it actually is?"
"There was definitely praise too—why am I only remembering the criticism?"
If you can ask these questions, you've already stepped back from your brain's automatic response.