The Psychological Mechanisms Behind Why Praise Becomes a Burden Rather Than Motivation
The manager called you aside after the meeting. "You did a great job on this project. I'm looking forward to the next one too." You thanked them and returned to your seat, but a weight settled in your chest. 'I guess I have to perform at this level next time too.' It was a moment when praise felt like an obligation rather than encouragement.
This is a surprisingly common experience. Despite receiving praise, instead of feeling energized, you feel drained and the future seems daunting.
The Trap of Extrinsic Motivation
Psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan's Self-Determination Theory distinguishes between two types of motivation: intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation.
Intrinsic motivation comes from the enjoyment and satisfaction of the activity itself. Like someone who loves drawing and does so without any reward. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, operates through externally provided things like rewards, recognition, and praise.
The problem is that as praise repeats, the motivation for behavior can shift from intrinsic to extrinsic. What started as doing work because the work itself was interesting becomes doing work 'to receive praise.' This is called the overjustification effect.
The New Baseline Created by Praise
When you receive praise, that moment's achievement becomes the new minimum standard. Psychology explains this as baseline elevation.
For example, suppose writing a report usually takes you 3 hours, but one day you spent 5 hours to increase quality and received praise. Next time, returning to 3 hours becomes difficult. Internal pressure arises: 'I should do it like last time,' and 5 hours becomes the new baseline. Praise acknowledged the achievement but simultaneously set the expectation that this achievement must be repeated.
Formation of Contingent Self-Worth
Psychologist Jennifer Crocker proposed the concept of contingent self-worth. This refers to a state where one's value becomes dependent on external conditions—performance, appearance, others' evaluation.
When praise is consistently given, the belief 'I am only valuable when praised' can form. When this happens, praise becomes an essential element sustaining self-esteem, and when praise is absent, anxiety and self-doubt arrive. Praise creates dependency rather than stability.
The Psychology of Comparison and Competition
When praise is given through comparison with others, the burden increases further. Comparative praise like "You're the best on the team" or "You're much better than others" reinforces social comparison.
According to psychologist Leon Festinger's social comparison theory, people evaluate their abilities by comparing with others. The problem is that comparative praise creates pressure to 'maintain first place.' A distorted competitive psychology operates where if others improve, you must improve more, and if others make mistakes, you feel relieved.
Perfectionism and Fear of Failure
Those who have received much praise may develop stronger perfectionist tendencies. In psychologist Carol Dweck's research, children who received ability praise like "You're so smart" subsequently tended to avoid difficult tasks. They feared that if they failed, they'd be evaluated as 'not smart.'
The same applies to adults. When hearing praise like "You're the best in this field," the burden to maintain that image arises. Mistakes cannot be tolerated, asking about unknowns becomes difficult, and challenging work is avoided. Praise becomes not a stepping stone for growth but shackles confining one to a safety zone.
Frequency and Unpredictability of Praise
According to psychology's reinforcement theory, the frequency and pattern of praise significantly impact motivation. When praise is given too frequently and predictably, its value dilutes. Conversely, when praise is irregular and unpredictable, stronger dependency develops.
This is why slot machines are highly addictive. Because you don't know when the reward will come, you keep trying. Similarly with praise, when given irregularly, the mixed anxiety and expectation of 'Will I be praised this time?' comes to dominate behavior.
Infringement of Autonomy
When praise is used as a tool of control, autonomy is infringed and motivation decreases. In self-determination theory, autonomy is one of the core elements of intrinsic motivation.
Praise containing the implicit message "Do this and you'll be praised" restricts freedom of choice. Telling a child "You're being so good when you're quiet" imposes the condition that 'being quiet makes you good.' Workplace praise like "You're such an obedient employee" can become a tool reinforcing compliance. Such praise weakens internal motivation and creates dependence on external control.
Daily Observation Points
Observe what emotion comes first when you receive praise. Does joy and energy arise, or does the burden 'I have to do this next time too' come first? If the latter, praise may be encroaching on intrinsic motivation.
Reflecting on the reason for starting work is also important. Do you do it 'to receive praise' or 'because the work itself is meaningful and interesting'? If the former weighs more heavily, a structure has formed where maintaining motivation without praise is difficult.
If you're giving praise, focusing on process over results, effort over ability, and absolute growth over comparison helps. Specific behavioral focus like "I was impressed by how you tried multiple approaches to solve this problem" makes praise encouragement rather than burden.
Praise is inherently positive feedback. However, depending on how it's given and how it's received, it can become either motivation or psychological pressure. What matters is maintaining internal standards that allow you to find meaning and satisfaction independently of praise. When praise becomes a bonus and inner satisfaction becomes the default, that's when praise truly becomes powerful.
This article is reference content based on general psychological information, and interpretations may vary depending on individual circumstances.