The Psychological Reason to Praise Process, Not Results
A child comes home with a perfect score on a test. "You're so smart!" At work, a project succeeds. "You're such a talented person!"
These compliments seem harmless enough. Yet many people who repeatedly hear such praise find themselves frozen when facing new challenges.
How the Direction of Praise Shapes People
Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck conducted a fascinating experiment with hundreds of children. She told one group, "You're really smart," and another group, "You worked really hard." When later given the choice between harder and easier problems, the results were striking.
Children praised for being smart chose easier problems. They feared that failure would expose them as not smart after all. Children praised for effort chose harder problems. Even if they failed, it meant only that their effort was insufficient, not that their worth was diminished.
This difference has become known as fixed mindset versus growth mindset.
The Trap of Result-Based Praise
Phrases like "You're a genius," "You're naturally gifted," or "You're just different" feel good in the moment. But people who repeatedly receive such praise gradually feel pressure to appear perfect.
Consider an employee labeled as "highly capable" who hesitates to propose a new project. Failure might shatter the image they've built. The same applies to children. Once tagged as "the smart kid," even asking questions becomes frightening.
Result-focused praise makes people defensive rather than helping them grow.
What Process Praise Cultivates
"You figured this part out on your own," "You didn't give up and saw it through," "Trying a different approach was good"—these words work differently.
Such praise acknowledges specific actions and effort. Children learn what behaviors led to good outcomes. They develop confidence to try again after failure. In psychology, this is sometimes described as strengthening intrinsic motivation—focusing on one's own growth rather than external evaluation.
A common scenario repeats itself. When a parent says "You draw so well," the child stops experimenting with new techniques for fear of making mistakes. But when told "I like how you mixed colors here," the child continues to experiment next time.
Praise Requires Practice Too
Many people understand the importance of process praise but find it awkward to practice. "Good job" comes out first.
Process praise begins with observation. You need to see specifically what the other person did. Expressions like "You put in time over the weekend preparing that presentation" or "You double-checked this problem several times" focus on actions, not results.
At first, intentionally rephrasing is necessary. Instead of "You're smart," try "I liked how you thought of that method." Instead of "You look good," try "I can see you put thought into your outfit today."
The Strength to Endure Failure
People raised on result-based praise interpret failure as personal incompetence. People raised on process praise interpret failure as information that this particular approach didn't work.
This difference persists into adulthood. When passed over for promotion, when a relationship ends, when a business fails—some people think "I'm not good enough," while others think "Next time I'll try this differently."
Process praise isn't just pleasant words. It's training that builds the psychological muscle to endure failure and rise again.
When You Change the Purpose of Praise
Praise should be feedback that supports growth, not a tool for evaluation. Sometimes the question "I'm curious how you thought about this part" offers stronger support than "You're the best."
Whether children or adults, people move more freely when they focus on "what they can do" rather than "who they are." Shifting praise from results to process is giving someone the courage to take on challenges.
※ This content is for informational purposes based on general psychological principles and may be interpreted differently depending on individual circumstances.