The Common Thread Among People Who Repeat the Same Mistakes – The Psychology of Learned Helplessness

When we see someone repeating the same mistakes, we often think, "Don't they have enough willpower?" However, psychology explains this phenomenon not as a matter of willpower but as a psychological mechanism called 'Learned Helplessness.' This concept, discovered by American psychologist Martin Seligman through experiments in 1967, demonstrates how repeated failure experiences can solidify an individual's behavioral patterns.

What is Learned Helplessness?

Learned helplessness refers to a psychological state in which individuals who repeatedly experience uncontrollable negative situations internalize the belief that "nothing I do will change the situation." In Seligman's classic experiment, dogs exposed repeatedly to unavoidable electric shocks later failed to attempt avoidance behavior even when escape became possible. This applies equally to humans.

Common examples include an employee who repeatedly fails to get promoted and then doesn't even apply when new opportunities arise, or someone who has failed at dieting multiple times and gives up on any attempt to improve healthy eating habits. These individuals have learned the cognitive pattern that "effort is futile" through past failure experiences.

The Psychological Structure of Repeated Mistakes

People in a state of learned helplessness exhibit three types of cognitive deficits. First, motivational deficit leads them to avoid attempts altogether. Second, cognitive deficit prevents them from exploring new strategies for problem-solving. Third, emotional deficit results in persistent feelings of depression and helplessness.

From the perspective of Attribution Theory, these individuals attribute failure to internal (because of me), stable (it's always been this way), and global (in all areas) causes. Thought patterns like "I'm inherently weak-willed," "I'm just not capable," and "Nothing ever works out for me" become fixed. In contrast, people who successfully solve problems tend to attribute failures to external (due to circumstances), unstable (just this time), and specific (only in this area) factors.

Loss of Control and Weakened Self-Efficacy

Psychologist Albert Bandura's theory of Self-efficacy provides another framework for understanding learned helplessness. Self-efficacy refers to an individual's belief in their ability to successfully perform a specific task. Repeated failures continuously damage this self-efficacy, and eventually, individuals lose their sense of control—the belief that their actions can influence outcomes.

For example, when a child's problematic behavior repeats during parenting and a parent's various attempts seem ineffective, the parent may develop the belief "I'm incompetent as a parent." This makes them hesitant to try new parenting strategies, and consequently, the situation worsens. The same applies to romantic relationships. Someone who has experienced similar patterns of conflict in multiple relationships may come to believe "I'm incapable of maintaining relationships," leading to defensive or avoidant attitudes in new relationships.

Breaking Free from Learned Helplessness

Because learned helplessness is learned, change is possible through relearning. In his later research, Seligman introduced the concept of 'Learned Optimism,' emphasizing the importance of cognitive restructuring that changes attribution styles.

First, accumulating small success experiences is crucial. Break down large goals into achievable steps and recognize success at each stage. Second, modify your attribution style for failures. Practice shifting your thinking from "I can't do it" to "This method didn't work." Third, focus on controllable areas. While you can't control everything, clearly recognize the parts you can influence and strengthen actions in those areas.

Taking psychological tests to understand your attribution style or level of control can also be helpful. Objectively recognizing which situations trigger feelings of helplessness and in which areas your self-efficacy is low is the first step toward change.

Application in Daily Life

When seeing someone repeat the same mistakes, we need to make an effort to understand what learning experiences they've had before blaming their willpower or character. What seems like a trivial attempt to someone may require tremendous courage for a person in a state of learned helplessness.

If you find yourself repeatedly failing in a particular area, pause and ask yourself: "Can I really not control this situation?", "Does this failure define all of me?", "Is there no room to try a different approach?" Thanks to the brain's neuroplasticity, learned helplessness can always be relearned. The important thing is recognizing that helplessness is not a permanent state but a changeable pattern.